Healing Stories: Healing from feelings of incoherence and isolation

A vibrant sunset with orange, yellow, blue, purple and pink hues to inspire connection with the energy around us

Notes from a client session, shared publicly, with permission, to inspire and heal the collective.

To maintain anonymity, the client will be referred to as MS.

MS and I began the session with a guided meditation to connect with the body. Whereas a usual guided meditation would start by focusing on the head and move downward, we were guided to focus on body parts totally ‘out of order’ bouncing from here to there. I asked about this and intuited “this was exactly as it needed to be today.” 

We asked her intuition to guide her. She felt tension in her lower abdomen. Her tailbone felt like it was pulling. She felt heat and energy moving in her womb space. 

It felt to her like a disconnect between the lower part and upper part of body. She still felt heat and energy in womb space. Her “heart space [center of chest]” felt hardened and felt like the opposite of lower half. At the same time, her mind felt isolated. 

“Incoherence” was the word that arose for her. Her mind was judging herself for feeling that way. There was lots of mental chatter; she couldn’t make sense of it. It sounded like little phrases of judgment. “My mind has seen incoherence as an enemy for so long,” she said. “I’m learning from incoherence and the signals of mind, body, and spirit that are trying to tell me something; there’s something that could change.”

“The lower half of the body represents the earth energy at the same frequency of synchronicities [physical manifestation of synchronicities]. The heart space is grasping at what’s tangible in the physical world in front of me. The mind is too fearful to let go of the incoherence even though it sees it as an enemy because the idea of homeostasis feels unattainable.”

She felt the physical pull in her tailbone gave her the proof her mind was seeking around these synchronicities, and her heart was feeling “the emotions that support what spirit is showing her.” But judgment came from having had “proof and endless tools around me and not actually putting them into practice.” 

“My mind wants organization and sequential order to the emotions, to the unseen, which directly contradicts the unseen and the essence of that.” 

All three, the mind, heart, and womb, when not in coherence, were “intensifying the feeling of isolation.” “Isolation encourages a bleak attitude towards life, the human experience, and questioning where the good in it exists.” 

Incoherence she realized is a tool in itself and is a very “clear and apparent signal” that she was placing her attention elsewhere. It was gently nudging and guiding her to the areas where she should be placing her attention in order to soothe the feelings of isolation.   

“Incoherence is ever changing in a pattern.” If MS were to jump into it, she would have to recognize its pattern to land. It showed her it’s a lot simpler than she made it out to be. The way incoherence moved was all variations of the same pattern.

“As I’m looking at it now, I realize I do recognize it. This animosity my mind feels towards incoherence is the same attitude that my mind feels towards predictability and safety. Incoherence and what my mind considers security are very similar because my mind has found security in the patterns of incoherence.”

It felt like her heart was emitting feelings (signals) of sadness and that the mind refused to be consciously aware of the patterns and choose lovingly.

“The heart is consistently guiding the rest of my body towards loving decisions.”

The womb created physical effects when the mind opposed the heart. “Physical manifestations that when accumulated and listed out becomes and extensive list of health concerns that my body is exhibiting as a direct result of my mind ignoring the loving choices.” 

“Tension and skin issues have been coming up. Hair loss. Tingling and painful sensations.” She became aware of them in the session. She had noticed them before and disregarded the sensations. It felt like the physical manifestations were reflecting buildup – an accumulation. 

“The body needs loving attention, compassion, non judgment.” She was giving it the attention now. “The compassion is there but more towards past decisions. The nonjudgment and presence that is required of nonjudgment has a lot of resistance.” She felt the resistance in her skull. 

It was resistance to anything her mind considers habitual, inclusive of the non loving habits and thought patterns. “It’s there because there’s something discouraging and defeating about creating new structures, patterns, and habitual behaviors because that requires consistency. The mind feels capable of making infrequent loving decisions, but it feels too hard to make loving choices consistently. The mind has a belief that it requires too much mental exertion to make loving choices consistently or desiring to – [there is] a sexiness to unconscious ease. There is more ease in the unloving choices.”

“The mind knows this on a neurological level too, and those neural pathways are difficult to change but not impossible. There’s a complacency, a laziness, there. That’s what makes the heart area feel neglected and sad because my mind is too lazy to follow its suggestions.” 

“The role the womb plays is becoming increasingly more aggressive with the physical sensations so that the fear of putting work into making loving choices will be outweighed by a fear of something more painful or serious in the body.” 

The lower third of the body had the same intensity as the heart trying to communicate to the mind that this complacency and ignoring the loving choices could have a serious effect. 

“Letting the mind not be in control would require trust in the other parts as well as detachment to ease and an openness to a new approach.” That required a high level of attentiveness. “I have a fear of this attentiveness because… the attentiveness invites all of the ignored feelings and emotions and energies that have been stored within me for so long. I don’t know if I would be capable of handling that.”

Me: “Do you think the universe would give you something you’re not capable of handling?” 

MS: “No” (with a faint giggle)

“I feel like I did bring attention to the things that I’ve been ignoring.” 

At the close of the session, we asked for a takeaway message. She saw in her mind’s eye a representation of the human experience: an edamame bean with mind, heart, and womb inside. They weren’t in order. We laughed out loud.

Leave a Reply